Dear Santa....

Dear Santa....

I know it's my first year with this new family, but if you could please bring me a dog bed that actually fits my 50 pound frame (and growing!) because I'm sick and tired of squeezing my big ass into the one that fits the 6 pound dog.

Granted, these new parents of mine have never encountered a big dog before, let alone had one live with them...But GET A CLUE!

It's cold outside and I need a warm, cozy spot to lay my head each night and while this little bed suffices for the head...I'd prefer if my whole body fit on it.

I don't mean to complain and I'm thankful that everyone seems to adore me, including the grumpy guy who apparently didn't want me to begin with....He's come around nicely especially given that my mom didn't regard the fact that he's allergic to me. And I don't fully understand "human" yet but I'm pretty sure I heard Mom say he was lying about that...Anyways, I'm happy for the family, the kids who smother me in kisses and hugs, and the parents who seem to really enjoy my quiet side. If you could just provide the bed, I'm good...

Confessions of an Imperfect Mother....

I yell too much, too loudly, too often

I don't treasure each moment I have with my children...I don't live in the moment.

There are times, sometimes days on end, when I can't wait for them to grow up and leave the nest.

Some nights, I lay in bed sobbing over the woman I've lost since becoming a wife and mother. I grieve for her....I miss her.

I wonder how people can live without regret when I have so many things I wish I could go back and do differently.

I realize now that my life was never my own. I went from one home to another without any stops in between. I never allowed myself the opportunity to fulfill my own selfish wants and dreams. Everything I've done has been for everyone else.

Does anyone else question their abilities to be a mother as much as I do? I thought it would be an innate skill...Something that came naturally. After all, I loved playing with dolls when I was growing up. I have a "nurturing" gene, right? Turns out, my skills end with infancy. My tool box is empty when it comes to 3-year-old temper tantrums and 9-year-old panic attacks.

I often use meditation as a form of a prayer session. I learned how to meditate about 11 years ago, while reading "Talking to Heaven". Since then, I have taken different classes, including Yoga, to fine tune my skill. I've also read "Broken Open" and "Eat, Pray, Love" which helped me to learn different methods and various states of mind to become closer to the Divine. I'm still shocked that someone like me is able to reach depths of subconsciousness when normally I can't turn my mind off and my physical being must always be in motion.

On this particular morning, we are struggling with Logan again. He's not sleeping, his panic attacks are causing a major disruption within our entire family. We're stressed and sad beyond belief. All of us are in a very dark place. Emily woke me up early this morning to go outside. So, I found myself with some quiet time before the kids arose. I decided to take this opportunity and try to meditate/pray.

I always start each session with a question in mind that I throw out to the "universe" and I wait for a response. I believe that if I become quiet enough, still enough, I can hear God talking. Of course, it comes to me in my own voice...But I believe I'm merely a vessel.

So, this morning my question was "What changes can I make to help Logan?" I've realized that I can provide all the help necessary. I can go to the end of the Earth and take Logan to every therapist that offers hope, I can visit every traditional and alternative doctor, I can force acupuncture on him, I can medicate him, I can spend time with him, I can love him with my entire being. I can love him more than my own life and it still won't be enough if he's not willing to put forth the effort to heal. In other words, I can lead a horse to water, but I can't make him drink.

This being said, my question was different today because there is nothing I can do to change Logan. I can only change myself and my response. I heard a quote the other day which I've been applying to our situation: "There is no such thing as a stressful situation, only stressful responses". So, "what can I do?"

The answer wasn't one I was expecting. I heard, "Accept your part in this, work to change the part you've contributed, and pray for healing" I've been resentful of the place Logan has put us in and so I responded with, "What can I do to improve my relationship with Logan?" The answer I heard was "Reflect...Reflect back to the moment you found out you were pregnant with him. Reflect back to the moment you first saw him. Do you remember how your heart swelled with love and gratitude? Do you remember how vehemently you wanted to protect him? Do you recall how promising his future was? Do you remember the vows you made to him that day? You vowed to be the best you could be and you'd be different and you'd dedicate your life to him. Go back to that place in time and remember he's still that infant you first saw. He's still that piece of you and Brad that you ADORE...."

That is all I needed to hear. The truth...The brutal honesty lies within the truth. I love that little boy with all my heart. I will not give up. I will remember the vows and promises I made to him. We will get through this...Of this, I am certain.

I couldn't help but share...

I decided to take a picture of Logan and his Golden Retriever, Emily, every month during Emily's first year. I'm hoping to capture the changes and growth in both of them over the course of the following few months.

This photo was taken on Sept 5, 2009:



This next picture was taken yesterday (a mere 4 weeks later). Can you believe the growth in a few short weeks? I was astonished!!! I can't seem to stop giggling over it. I mean, seriously, what have I gotten myself into here??? She's now almost 5 months old and 30 pounds.

We hit the 6 week mark....

As many of you know, I am NOT a big dog person. I've always preferred a small lap dog to a big, exuberant dog with boundless energy. I have always been highly intimidated by their size and my ability to control them. I don't want BIG dog problems: Counter-surfing, pulling on the leash, jumping on people, big dog droppings, etc. That being said, I must admit that Emme has completely and fully grown on me. Ok, more than grown on me; I am IN LOVE with her! She's playful, but loving. She's big, but gentle. There's this calm energy surrounding her and she seems to bring peace to our household. And, boy, could we use some "peace" around here these days!!!

So, we've reached the 6 week mark since we brought Emme home. She's a little over 4 months old, roughly 20 pounds. Lots of hurdles have been overcome and lots of accomplishments have been made in the past month since my last posting.

I'm happy to report that she's fully house trained. That probably happened within 2-3 weeks of consistent training. I wouldn't say that I fully trust her, but I'm not keeping a watchful eye every second either.

The crate is a huge success. She even prefers to go in there, all on her own, around 8:30 every night. She does still sleep with Logan for about half the night, then I bring her down in her crate for the remaining hours. Otherwise, she'd stir when Brad got up and need to go outside.

We've also started some obedience training. I'm shocked and amazed with how easy she is to train. Thus far, we're working on jumping on people and the kids. She's good about 80% of the time. Logan really hinders my training process as he thinks it's GREAT when she tackles him each morning and when he comes home off the bus each afternoon. I cringe each time!!! We've also completely stopped her bolting out the door. She sits and waits for my "ok"...I've also been trying to get her calm and submissive prior to opening the door. That is still a work in progress...! Neighbors, don't be surprised if I call and ask you to ring the doorbell as a part of desensitizing her to new people. She also successfully walks without pulling on the leash. And as much as all of these things are good, she does have an energy level that we much drain daily. She is a true hunting dog in the sense that she loves running through the tall grasses in the fields behind us. Now, if I could only lighten up enough to let her run off leash. I'm a nervous wreck when it comes to dogs off leash...I was traumatized as a child by watching my dog get run over by a car. Call me controlling (it won't be the first time) but I can't seem to let her go off on her own: Way too fearful!!!

I thought I'd end this posting with a sweet dog story. If you know me well, you've already heard it, but I can't help but share it. We are in the midst of struggling with Logan again. His anxiety has resurfaced with the start of school and we are having a really hard time as a family unit dealing with it appropriately. On one such challenging afternoon, after a 2-hour meltdown all of us were left physically and emotionally drained. I've been walking both dogs each night and while Brad is supportive in every way, he told me upfront that if I were to get another dog, it was totally and completely Logan and my responsibility. He didn't want another dog, hence, he wasn't helping with another dog. I've always respected this and never expected anything from him. On this particular night, I had planned to walk the dogs, but after Logan's episode, I just didn't have the energy. So, Brad says to me, "Do you want me to walk her (meaning Emme)." And I know this isn't much to most of you and you probably don't see the justification in my tears, but I just looked at him and started sobbing...For many reasons, but mainly because he saw a). How important the dogs are to me and b). He cared enough about me to give me the "night off" per say. I went to him and broke down in his arms. Not just merely crying, I was SOBBING!!! Brad tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Look behind you"...I saw Emme just sitting behind me, staring up at us. Through my sobs and tears, I said to Brad, "You may not like her, but she's the most loving dog ever." Almost as if on queue, she came over and rested her head against my knee.

While we got the dog for Logan, to help soothe him and pull him through his darkest moments, Emme has been just as therapeutic for me and I love her with my whole heart...

2 Weeks....

It's officially been two weeks since we added Emily to the mix. Many things have progressed forward in these two weeks. For example, her new nickname is now "Emme" but none of us feel like she knows her name yet. Secondly, Logan wanted to re-name her "Cabela" after his favorite store, but we were worried it was too long of calling her "Emme" and we didn't want to confuse her. Not sure it would really matter at this point in the process. She doesn't seem to come to anything she's called!!!

The crate is totally a success! It took a good week of just enduring the crying and now she's content. The minute she's place inside, she lays down and sleeps.

The potty training is also getting better, but we take her for at least 2 (sometimes 3 walks per day). The only problem area we're experiencing is at night when she sleeps with Logan. He sleeps hard enough not to hear her should she jump off the bed and relieve herself in his room. Other than that, she's is making an effort to find the door and stand there although it's not too consistent and there's no way I fully trust her at this point. However, no accidents in a couple of days.

It's also important to note that I'm getting NOTHING done!!! All I've done is watch the dogs, feed the dogs, walk the dogs. Laundry is piling up, bathrooms are starting to get gross, and garbage cans are overflowing. I'm just hoping that my attentiveness pays off soon.

Oh and did I mention that she's getting BIG fast?!?! OH MY...I can't believe how quickly she's growing. Maybe it's because my only frame of reference is dogs who weigh 7 pounds fully grown, but MAN...I don't think she's going to small like her mother was, which is what I was hoping for--She just may take after her father in that regard.

That being said though, we have been calling her our "gentle giant"...She's so very sweet, mellow, and loving. She seems to know her strength and is so careful around other dogs (especially those smaller than her) and the kids. She LOVES the kids--even those that do not belong to her family. I can hardly get her out of yards that have kids in them. She's truly a companion dog and we're really loving her.

This is harder than I remember...And it's getting OLD

I don't know exactly what it is, but this pup is much harder than I remember ANY of the others being. She's great with the kids, she's calm and mellow, and very easy to train. In fact, just a couple of times did I have to give the "down" command and she's got it, but she cannot SLEEP. I don't know what the problem is, but I'm wearing myself pretty thin these days--not to mention she's keeping the kids and hubby up as well. Because she's been so restless at night and keeping Logan up, I decided to put her crate in Logan's room to see if it kept her need to go outside 3x per night at bay. No such luck. In fact, it was worse than ever!!! She went down at 9 PM and by 11 PM, I was woke up to a barking, howling puppy. This continued for the rest of night. I let her out a total of 3x and finally just let her sleep with me, but she was restless and whiny all night long. Ugh! This is getting OLD!!!

Emily is HERE!

We're excited to announce the newest addition to our household: A Golden Retriever named Emily. It seemed as if she picked us rather than us picking her. As many of you already know, Logan and I went to see another Golden puppy a couple weeks ago. Other than Brad pretty much telling me he would divorce me if I followed through, there was just something about the dog that didn't feel right. It didn't feel like "our" dog. So, with two crying kids and an upset breeder (since I didn't take the dog he held for me), I backed out of his driveway. For a few days, I pouted. I was mad at Brad for his lack of support. Truly, all I'm trying to do is help Logan. And I realized upon leaving that maybe it was just as much me as it was Logan that wanted a dog. So, I steered clear of any internet searches or newspaper ads. I just left well enough alone.

Well, as soon as I got over my tantrum, I went back to checking things out. Lo and behold there was another ad in the paper featuring Golden pups who were younger, certified and both parents were Therapy Dogs...Something I wanted for Logan. So, I contacted the breeder and fell in love with her. It just felt right...We met her last weekend and she had traveled with the entire litter, so we could see which pup had the best chemistry with Logan. Now that's a fabulous breeder!!! As it turns out, Emily, seemed to really click with Logan and wanted to be with him and he with her. As we pulled in and saw all the puppies, Logan immediately picked her out and said, "I hope it's that one" and it was! It was magical watching the two of them interact: Dog and Boy. She nestled right into his arms and the rest is history. She's very mellow and fitting into our family quite. Of course it hasn't been without it's quirks....

Friends of mine have asked that I blog my puppy experience. They, too, are considering adding one to their brood and believe my overall time line of events will help them plan best for their own. I have lots of experience with dogs. Not only did I grow up with numerous ones in our house at one time, but Emily is #4 for us in our 12 years of marriage.

So, here goes:

Week 1, Day 1:
Puppy arrives! She's so sweet and mellow, sleeping all the time. If only we realized a week ago that this is what's considered the "honeymoon period". Night time rolls around and we wonder what in the world to do with her come bed time. We have a crate, but experience tells me it's going to be one LONG, LOUD night in the crate. Plus, our intent with Emily is to have her sleep with Logan. We start out the night with Phoebe and Brad in our bed, London in her own bed, Logan, Emily, and I in Logan's bed. We ended the night with Logan in his bed, London in her bed, Brad and Phoebe in our bed, and Emily and I on the couch. She was whiny and restless. She was unsure of her surroundings and deeply missed her litter mates and mother. I was doing my best to make it up to her.

Week 1, Day 2:
Time does march on, even when a new puppy arrives home! I'm exhausted on day 2--I was up all night long with Emily. And apparently her schedule coincides with the sun because while I was hoping she was as tired as me and we were going to sleep in, she wanted to rise and shine with sun at 6 AM. So, we're up and I do the routine of letting her outside to her business and feeding her. Did I mention that we were outside A LOT during the middle of the night as well? Kinda creepy with howling coyotes in the distance....

As the day goes on, I've made numerous attempts to get in the shower to no avail. So, as a last resort, I decide this will be a great way to get her used to her crate since I'm home and it's only for a half hour tops. As soon as I place her in the crate, she spreads her legs in optimal refusal--imitating a cat going into water. With a little harmless force, I get her in and securing shut the door. She's howling, crying, barking the whole time. In fact, it's so loud I can hear here 2 floors up while I'm showering. But I must admit, I don't think my shower has EVER felt so good. It was like I entered a spa. I took a little longer than usual..Again, firmly believing this was a "good thing" for Emily. I head down to get her out of her crate, she is still barking, and I smell something awful. Yep, you've guessed it. Not only did she soil her crate pan, but she managed to roll in it. Ugh!!! So, now it's bath time.

Night #2 isn't much better. All 3 of us are again in Logan's bed, Emily is more restless than ever. I believe we had a total of 3 trips outside in the middle of the night. I suppose I could ignore it and force her, but I really don't want her to get used to soiling her crate, bed, nor my house, so I'm really accommodating her!!!

Week 1, Day 3:
We're falling into a routine and things seem better. She's still up at the crack of dawn and desperately needs about 3 walks per day, but little by little, she's warming up and showing her true colors!

Night #3, both dogs are up at 3:30 for good. Ugh!

Week 1, Day 4:
It's getting a little better. We're falling into sync with one another, I'm learning her signals. She's REALLY warming up now, so much so that no couch, table leg, or dog is safe. She's chewing everything. So, between the potty watch and chewing watch, I'm getting NOTHING done! Laundry is piling up, bathroom garbages are overflowing, dishwasher needs emptying, but I can't turn myself away from watching the dog.

Night #4 is better because I have Book Club, which forced Logan to take charge and he did wonderfully! They slept together and have been great ever since...He's doing a great job. Logan is making a solid effort to take care of his dog as he wants her to continue to be bonded with him versus me. He's been walking her (but it's not nearly enough)sleeping with her and letting her outside at the crack of dawn when she wakes. I'm impressed. Of course, it's only been a week, so I expect the newness to wear off at any given moment.

Week 1, Day 5:
The crate training has finally "clicked" with her. We're feeding her on a schedule too, so it's all falling into place. She's sleeping good at night and enjoying her kennel for short stints while we're away during the day.

Tune in for further updates!!!!

Quick Summer Read...

If you're looking for a book you can't put down--one that's quick and easy and interesting to read--One that will make you question our society and life itself--Pick up "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. It's a GREAT book! It's sad and strong and lovely. The characters come to life and live on in your heart forever. Enjoy!

Summer's End

It's so hard to believe we are already approaching the end of summer. As always, it goes by way too quickly. While I'm looking forward to school being back in session, I will definitely miss our lazy mornings where we can sleep in and stay in pj's until noon. I'll miss watching Brad and Logan pack up their fishing gear to go on yet another expedition. I'll miss watching London put on her bike helmet and take off down the street, tires squealing. I'll miss my long walks with Phoebe. There is a time and a season for everything. I am sick of watering my flowers, I'm ready for them to die. I'm ready for jeans and sweatshirts and cool Fall nights with the smell of bonfires in the air. I'm ready for mums and pumpkins on doorsteps. I'm ready for the leaves to change colors and fall off.

Change is definitely in the air within our very own household too. I'm looking for a job after being home exclusively for the past two years. This is definitely going to upset the basket of our daily routine. While I'm looking forward to a possible return to the work force (although I'm not sure my vocabulary is much above a 3-year-old level at this point), I'm worried my kids have other ideas in mind. London will adjust to the change just fine. In fact, I think she'd prefer more social opportunities than she gets at home. Logan will be the one whose world is more rocked by this...He is a home body and likes coming home to me and vegging. We'll have to work out something so both kids have their needs met. It won't be easy, but worth it, I think.

Logan and I are also exploring the possibilities of adding another member to our family: A Golden Retriever! He has wanted a big dog for months, maybe years, and I'm finally succumbing to the idea. Brad, on the other hand, isn't warming up, but he has always been reluctant to add anything to our household, including kids, and he's enjoyed everything I've brought in thus far (Ok, maybe he hasn't been as in love with the dogs as me, but I think he'd agree the kids have been a good addition. Well, that may depend on the day as well!).

We'll keep you updated. Speaking of 3-year-olds, she's not very cooperative when it comes to posting on blogs. She's currently so bored, she's bugging the dog, so gotta run!!!

Father's Day...

When Brad and I first met, the chemistry between the two of us just clicked! I don't know how else to explain it, but within 2 weeks of dating (I was 16, he was almost 19) and the night before he left me to go to college, he said, "I'm coming back for you and I'm going to marry you." Literally, like any 16-year-old girl, I laughed out loud and responded with, "Yeah right! You're going to get to college and realize there are tons more fish in the sea!" Well, I didn't want to reveal then how much I hoped he'd prove me wrong. And he did. He sent me a letter almost daily. I have the BOXES to prove it. We spent every dime we made on long distance phone bills. We comment now about how much cheaper life would been had the cell phone industry just been about 10 years ahead of it's time!!! And he made the 3 hour trip to Sioux Falls SD every other weekend to spend time with me. A true love story...

When Brad and I decided to get married, I never thought about the two of us becoming parents nor how we would rate under such circumstances. I never thought about how Brad would transition from his role as a husband to that of a father. However, Logan's arrival was a pleasant surprise. Three years into our marriage, we found out we were expecting a bouncing baby boy. The memories of this time in our life are ones I'll never forget. There is something very tender about watching the man you love fall head over heels with a child. I will NEVER forget our first ultrasound at 20 weeks and how in awe he was watching our child bounce around in my stomach nor the moment Logan entered the world. For some reason, the tears welling up in his eyes as they placed Logan on my stomach is burned into my long-term memory. I don't remember much of the night he was born, but I remember looking at Brad as he scooped up Logan and held him so securely. Logan came out kicking and screaming. Nothing seemed to soothe him (not much has changed!). And very proudly, Brad took him and lulled and soothed him as best he could. For the first time, I knew Brad would be a GREAT father and nothing has changed since.

The same goes for London...She came into the world in a much calmer state of mind, but I watched Brad take her very protectively. I'm not sure if it was a "girl" thing, but he pretty much ditched me to be with her (No offense taken!). They've had a growing love affair with one another since Day One. There is one moment I'll never forget with London. Brad had broken away from the hospital to get something to eat. We were all settled in, London was sleeping in my arms. Brad called me from Subway and said, "Stac, I think she's so cute! She's beautiful!" And each and every day, I see a glimmer in his eyes as she comes running to greet him after work. It's so sexy to see your husband love and protect your daughter.

In honor of Father's Day, I wanted to share a card Logan made for Brad this year. As many of you know, we struggle with Logan daily. He's a very anxious and, hence, sleepless child. Since school is out for summer, Logan's sleeping habits have taken a turn for the worse. One of the nights this week, while he was trying to get to sleep, he decided to write Brad a Father's Day card. This was something he did completely on his own and it's so sweet that I had to share it.



In case the print is hard to read, it says: "Dear Dad, The number one dad in the world" He taped a penny on the page to signify "#1"



The inside says: "I hope you like your gift. I told you we wouldn't have to go golfing (Logan got Brad the new Tiger Woods Golf game for Wii), but Dad, even when I'm mad, I love you with my whole heart. I wanted you to know that. Love Logan and London and Mom.

It completely made me tear up...Mainly because it's something he did all on his own.

So, Happy Father's Day to the BEST husband and Father! I love you with my "hole" heart too!!!

Tough Times...? Votre Vu can help!

Like many of Americans, the state of the world's economy has hit our family hard. We've seen a huge decrease in our investments. Investments that were supposed to sustain us during our retirement and help us fund our kids' higher education. We bought a new house and watched it's value decline far past the value of our loan. I know that mine is not a story you haven't heard time and time again. Every news show and magazine article seems to focus on the continued bad luck of our middle class.

With all of this being said, I've really contemplated returning to work as a means to contribute to the family budget. I've been checking out various positions online. Of course, I need one that will offer flexibility--After all, I have two kids that any job I consider must be able to work around. Then there's the cost of daycare. So, now I need a lucrative job with flexibility. Are you laughing yet?

Well,let me tell you of my journey. A family member introduced me to Votre Vu back in November 2008. Votre Vu is a naturally-based, French skincare line that just launched in the United States in January 2009. I was very skeptical. Direct selling hasn't had the best reputation of late and I truly felt bombarded by skin care and didn't think this line could be any different from all the others out there. One thing led to another and I received some samples. I truly noticed a difference in my skin in ONE day. It wasn't perfect--far from it--but it was pretty. It was hydrated instead of flaky. It had a healthy glow to it. I was completely impressed with the line. Hence, I decided to be a consultant for the discount.

After about a month of trying it out, I realized it was so easy to promote the line. So, I decided to have a few girlfriends over for pizza and beer and let them sample some things as well. Little by little, I got more comfortable sharing it with others and I started getting paid for it. YOU can too!!!

This isn't some "get rich quick" scheme. I fully admit that I've been working hard, but it's MY schedule. It's a schedule that has allowed me to work around my family instead of working my family around my job. I work some nights, some weekends, and I'm always training and learning new things, but I'm having a great time and I'm making money. YOU can too!!!

And as far as what sets Votre Vu apart from the others? Many things!!! First of all, Votre Vu has partnered up with a lab outside of Paris, France that has been in business, supplying the finest European salon and spas with luxurious products for over 80 years. All our products, except for Snapdragon (our beauty beverage) is manufactured in small batches in France. The botanicals and plant extracts used in our products are all grown in France as well. France has the optimal growing conditions for things like Aloe and Lavender that are used in many of our products. And once you get to know our products, you'll notice they have less fillers than traditional products, which means you are going to see better results faster and use less product!

The business opportunity is also the most coveted! First of all, it's a ground floor business opportunity, so the earning potential is huge. Secondly, Votre Vu offers a binary compensation plan, which is very consultant friendly and allows us to make more money with less effort.

I encourage you to check out a couple of videos I've posted on my website: Go to www.votrevu.com/staceygarry and click on "join us" and just listen to what Votre Vu has to offer. I really think you'll be impressed by the products, the business opportunity and the company themselves. And one thing that I want to make clear--You do NOT have to be a skincare expert to start this kind of business. Votre Vu provides all the training necessary!!!

Today, London and I were watching TV and a cheesy commercial came on and for whatever reason, maybe the theme song or the devastating pictures, both of us completely stopped what we were doing and watched it till the end. The last caption said, "There is nothing more important than just being there" and I looked at my daughter standing next to me and I felt such a deep magnitude of feeling that I almost teared up. Truly, when I look at my kids, there isn't anything more important than just being here. And I'm thankful that Votre Vu has offered that not only to me, but to everyone! Anything is possible with them! I encourage you to listen to my story and check out my web site. Your opportunity awaits!

We're ready for summer!

I can't believe 2 months have passed since my last posting. I'm usually so overwhelmed with material that I don't even know where to begin. However, it's been a hectic last half of the year. Logan is more than ready for summer. He has been having some anxiety issues again, which we're trying with all our might to curtail. It's hard to watch your child suffer and not be able to help him, but we've increased his medication again and we're already seeing some improvements. We haven't had any panic attacks since last Tuesday night. I think I hear angels singing?!?!

London is enjoying the warmer weather. She loves the outdoors. In fact, she loves being outside SO much that she thrashes, screams, and kicks to come inside. It doesn't seem to matter how many warnings I give her (such as "Five more minutes, London, and we'll be leaving the park."), she can still manage to shock and surprise me with the amount of spunk in her small, little body! Talk about paybacks!!!

My mom took the kids a couple of weekends ago, so Brad and I had the house to ourselves for a few days. I can't even describe how nice it was to have a break, especially amid Logan's challenges. We needed the time. And the one thing that always amazes me during these infrequent breaks we get from children is how I always think the grass must be greener on the other side. Like those who don't have children are so lucky to have boundless energy from all the sleep they are getting and endless time to complete tasks and clean their house and watch movies. They get to eat out because a)they have extra income and b)they don't have to find and then hire a competent babysitter and c). A simple dinner and movie doesn't cost them $150 between babysitter pay, movie entrance and dinner plus a tip!

Yes, I rediscovered how much I truly DO love Brad and it helps to remember why we're together to begin with--Because we REALLY enjoy each other and get along fabulously! However, by the end of the 4 days, I was no longer envious of those who don't have children. I really missed mine. I really miss the endless, monotonous routine and smell of sleep on their skin and bubbles during bath time and the last minute kisses and early morning cuddles.

Whenever we're stressed out by Logan's issues, I always question whether or not I should have been a mother. I ask myself, "Really? Do I have what it takes to raise these children?" I always feel like I got more instructions with my puppy. Then I realize that God doesn't make mistakes and he sent these children to me, including Logan, because he knew I was capable of not only raising them, but loving them. And after 4 days sans them, I know that not only was I meant to be a mother, but I was meant to be THEIR mother. And I truly, from the depths of my soul, cannot imagine life without them in it!

Facebook...

I realize it's been almost a month since I've "blogged". It's not because I've been too busy or a lack of material (after all, how can that possibly happen in a busy household such as ours?), but more likely because I've joined Facebook and I'm ADDICTED!!!

I must admit, these sites frightened me a little bit in the beginning. I had visions of "my space" stalkers hacking into every aspect of my personal life, but Facebook seems to be a little milder with all their privacy settings. I'm having the time of life catching up with old friends, new friends, neighbors I haven't seen all winter long. Yes, there is email, but this seems more intimate with all the 'status updates' and pictures posted.

So, other than the fact that everything around me is falling apart because I can't peel myself away from the computer, life is going good. We have managed to remain healthy even though germs are running rampant right now.

Oh yeah and we got a new camera, so look for photos updates on my Facebook page soon!

Rock Band

Santa brought Rock Band for Logan this year. We truly thought the game would be a fun activity for Logan and his friends. Little did we know that it would overtake our life!!! Brad gets up early on Saturday and Sunday mornings (long before the rest of us rise) to play "tours" to earn things like managers, money, and 1975 Econovans. Logan is begging me to let him dye his hair red and black so he can look like the rocker he created, and London is currently trying to find her "talent" between drums and microphone.

At this point, I'm pretty certain Logan is destined for smoky night clubs and London will be some kind of groupie in a cheap Karaoke bar.

The Middle Place

Many of you know how much I love reading. I'm rarely seen without a book in hand. So, when a good friend introduced me to "The Middle Place" I quickly went to Target and bought the book. I finished it in one weekend. It was SUCH a good book. Full of tears and laughs. It was just the perfect combination of emotion. And as a woman, mother, daughter, and friend, I could completely relate. I urge you to go pick up "The Middle Place" and curl up with a good book!

Book Club updates

I'm so thrilled to announce that our book club is in full swing. We have a date, a blog, book considerations for next month. This is something I've always wanted to do. I'm so excited to finally turn my passion into something really productive and fun.

Please check out our book club blog at www.turnthenextpage.blogspot.com