Nature Vs Nurture?

For years, we've been hearing various debates on which has more influence on the development of children: Nature or Nurture? I can easily say, without a doubt, that before I had my own children, I was a "snob" and quit to judge. I truly believed that we "reap what we sow"....

Ok, can I eat those words now?

The very moment my two children entered the world, I knew they would be quite different individuals. What I wasn't prepared for was HOW different! There are times where I wonder if they are even related???

Logan entered the world kicking and screaming. His cries were inconsolable. No amount of cuddling, swaddling, or various pacifiers could soothe him. He was ultra-sensitive from the beginning. He only liked certain bottles and nipples, he preferred being naked to having anything touch his skin, certain foods just didn't agree with him. Any noise would wake him. He was challenging.

London, on the other hand, came out and quietly took in her surroundings. In fact, she was so quiet that I kept asking the nurses and doctors for some kind of recognition that she was fine. I was used to the "screaming" kind. And by six years of Logan, it was actually comforting. It reasurred me that he was fine! With London, I was terrified that her stillness was a sign of distress. But to my joy and surprise, she was just fine. From the moment of her birth, she slept good and hard. She tolerated foods, she was happy and content.

They were just two very unique and different personalities. One no better than the other and neither without their challenges, but it was so apparent from their birth. Yes, as parents, we shape our children's views on the world and their belief and value systems, but I believe we have far less control on their personalities.

You get what you get! And I'm sure Baby #3 will be just as unique, challenging, and rewarding as the previous two!

Baby #3!!!

There are few announcements in life that equalize the "We're pregnant!" and I'm excited that my husband finally relented and allowed me to announce it one more time...Yep, that's right! We're 15 weeks pregnant with our third child!!!

Our baby is due on March 8, but now that I'm an experienced mom and have watched my due date come and go with each pregnancy (which, by the way, I'm pretty certain there is nothing WORSE!), I really don't expect this one to a--come early nor b--on time, so there is a slight chance that our new baby and I could share a birthday.

Typically, I despise being pregnant. I really miss my body being my own. I like to sleep in whatever position I choose, I like to eat junk food and soda, I like to run. All of these things are put on hold until, once again, my body is mine and I'm not sharing it with anyone. But this time, because more than likely, it is the LAST time, I decided early on that I was going to enjoy every moment. After all, this is the last time I'll feel a living soul within me and it truly is a blessing and a miracle. I feel so fortunate to be a woman and to be able to experience pregnancy and birth.

So, this being said...This baby decided to truly test my strength and willingness to love pregnancy. It started out with intense nausea which moved to nights mostly, but made me unable to prepare dinner nor eat it. In fact, the only thing I felt like eating at all was ice cream. And since I typically gain 50 pounds with each pregnancy, another vow I made was to keep my weight gain reasonable. Again, Baby Garry strikes against me, because I've found myself craving sweets. Yes, I'm forcing myself to eat yogurt and vegetables, but what I really want is to devour an entire bag of Dove chocolates. This isn't very "goal-friendly" when it comes to weight.

Next, came the sleeplessness. I've always been able to thoroughly enjoy a good night's sleep during the early stages of pregnancy. And for whatever reason, I'm up every night tossing and turning. And, if I do happen to doze off, then I wake up because my bladder is being crushed by this walnut-sized fetus, forcing me to pee.

But given all these obstacles, I'm enjoying it. And I feel very blessed that we are having a brand new baby. It will add some stress and complications, but I think, deep down, I've always wanted the chaos of a busy family and household. Maybe because I grew up in one, but it feels like "home"...

Facebook

Ok, I admit it. I'm one of those stupid people who does enjoy Facebook. I'm home all day with my kids and, when I have time to sit down at my computer, it feels like some kind of "social retreat" to catch up with people I would have otherwise lost contact with a long time ago.

This being said, it doesn't hold the same lure and attraction it once did. Why? Because it's always the same people updating their statues and like my husband always says (who is totally against Facebook if you didn't already know his stance), "Why do they think they are so important that you'd care what they are doing every second of their life?" When you think about it, there is some truth to his statement. But my all time favorite updates are from those who are "SO crazy busy" but yet they still have time to sit down at their computer and TELL us how busy they are. I don't know about you, but when I'm busy, updating my Facebook status to let you know how busy I am is the farthest thing from my mind! Facebook is a very narcissistic social forum...

But I still enjoy being a "fly on the wall" at times. I have become more of a voyeur on Facebook than an actual participant, but I still find it entertaining. And, truly, is there anything more exciting than seeing a post on your wall or the mystery involved in seeing the looming "friend request"? You just never know who might have found you today...It's exciting and, maybe, a little creepy. But--Hey--My life is so boring what's wrong with an occasional stalker? I'm merely kidding, of course!!! :)

Summer's End? Please!!!

I know there are many, many people who don't agree with me, especially those from the upper Midwest, but I'm really anxious for summer to end. Normally, I enjoy our summers and the laziness and non-routines that accompany it. However, this summer has been dragging on forever. Six weeks into it, my kids were bored and, hence, acting out as a result. And there are people who will respond with "Well, entertain them"...Here's the deal: I'm out of ideas and I'm exhausted by it all. I admit it, it's been rough and I'm more than ready to send the kiddos back to school. While there are things I don't like about the typical school year: Homework, 9 months of snow, and hectic mornings. This is the first year where I'll actually have a few hours to myself because London is entering preschool and she'll attend each day for 3 hours. If you're jealous, just remember, I've paid my dues!! I've been home each and every day her entire life. I'm ready for some "me" time. And this isn't to say that I'd change one minute of it. Ok, well, maybe I'd change some things, but I've always appreciated the fact that staying home was a choice I have...Not an easy choice and not one without some sacrifice, but one I value and feel is important. I was never good about dropping my babies off to spend the majority of their day with a stranger. Now I see how much London is craving some socialization with children her own age. It's a hunger burning deep within her soul. She's completely bored with me and I"m not taking it personally. After raising the introverted child, I'm more than happy to see this side of things too. It's rewarding to see the child scamper off with her backpack and teacher in hand. The confidence radiating from her is so reassuring. She's a born leader and I hope it stays that way.

Hmmm....I wonder what I'll do with 3 hours each day? I'll keep you posted! :D

No New is Good News, Right?

Whew! I can't believe it's been MONTHS since I've updated the blog. I guess it's because life has been marching on without much pomp nor circumstance. Life, overall, is good.

We're having a great summer! The weather has been fabulous and we've been enjoying the break from the routines of the school year. We've been busy, but yet looking back at our activities, I'd say we've also been lazy. It's a good mix.

Despite my many cries to the Universe, time has not stood still and Logan did turn 10! While I was anticipating many tears (my own, of course),I realized the anticipation of the date was worse than the actual day. It came and went and we had a great time celebrating with family. It's official...He's in the double digits! And I know I'm biased, but can I say that he has really matured this past year and turned into a wonderful young man. I love his spirit, his spunk, his compassion, his "out-of-the-box" sense of humor, and his sensitive nature. He's still my "old soul" and while I still have my hesitations regarding his future and those dreaded teen years, I am enjoying the moment and I'm hopeful that when the time comes, he'll remember everything we've taught him (Ok, maybe "everything" is a stretch, but I hope at least for the important things!). As much as I'd like to protect him from all harm as he gets older and gains more independence, I realize it's also a right of passage that I can't deny him. How I'm feeling reminds me of a part in "Nemo" when Marlin says to Dori, "But I promised him I'd never let anything happen to him." And she responds with, "Well, that's a funny thing to promise because if you never let anything happen to him, nothing will ever happen to him." So true!

We're also anticipating a trip to Disney World soon. The kids are both excited to experience their first plane ride. And Brad has stated that while he's excited for the actual destination, he's more thrilled for the journey. God bless him! I don't know what I'd do without his stable anchor. He just grounds me and puts everything into perspective. And I say this because I'm dreading the traveling, but can't wait to get there. So, to see things from his side is always refreshing! We'll keep you posted on how that goes!!!

Life isn't perfect, but it's so, so good!

"The Gift of an Ordinary Life"

If you read my last posting, you already know how hard I'm taking the fact that kids grow up--Way faster than I ever thought possible.

Well, a good friend of mine turned me onto this next book. And this author sums up my feelings a lot more eloquently than I ever could. So, check out this video and have the kleenex ready. I've watched it at least a hundred times and find myself sobbing each time...Enjoy!

"The Last Lecture" by Randy Paush

One of my favorite quotes from his book:

“Time is all you have...and you may find one day that you have less than you think”.

For some reason, it hit me hard this weekend that Logan is going to be 10 years old in a few short months. How did this happen? Where did the last 10 years go? I can still recall his first scream (which lasted for hours!) and my primal, fierce need to protect him.

While I love both my children immensely, there is something about your first born....You learn together and experience all those 'firsts' with brand new eyes, ears, and hearts. You make all your mistakes on them, you shelter them from every germ, every stranger, every bad commercial. You lay awake at night, worried about their development, their future, their friends.

Your first-born transcends you from wife to mother. I'll never forget something Logan said to me when he was 3-years-old from the back seat of our car, "Mom, why did Grammy name you "Stacey"?" I respond with, "I guess because she liked the name." And Logan says, "Grammy named you 'Stacey' but I named you 'Mom'" And there was so much truth to this statement that even I didn't realize at the time. This is probably why we've always referred to Logan as our "old soul"....He's always been so wise beyond his years, so compassionate and thoughtful. I appreciate his kind and loving nature more and more each day.

It just felt like we had forever and I'm realizing now that all the time I thought I had is running out...He's becoming more and more independent. I can no longer bring a clean set of clothes in the bathroom while he's showering. I can't surprise him with McDonald's for lunch at school. He doesn't want to read "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" any longer because it's for babies (even though I'm 33 and thoroughly still enjoy reading a good "Pigeon" classic!). These are all changes that are meant to take place. It's the natural order of life, but what I didn't expect was to take it so hard. I didn't think I'd feel unwanted as much as I do.

I want to scream out to the universe at large, "Wait! Stop the clock! I'm not ready. I still have so much to teach him. I just need a little more time."

So, today (amidst the Monday Blues) wrap your arms around your child and realize each moment is a blessing and the greatest gift you can give your children is your TIME!

I can't remember the "puppy stage"...

Emme is 8 months old and weighs 52 pounds! Our vet has reassured us that the "growth" period should end between 8-9 months of age, so we're hopeful that she will NOT be the 100 pound dog we were once thinking!!!

All joking aside, she's a great dog and we love her immensely. She's really turned into a quiet, mellow, loving dog. I just told Logan the other day that I'm so thankful he begged for a Golden Retriever. If not for his relentless begging, I never would have known how much I could love a big, hairy dog (who has totally ruined my beautiful hardwood floors, I might add!). Most of you know, I'm a small dog person and the very thought of a big dog that sheds was enough to turn my stomach. In fact, I told Logan during one of his begging sessions that I'd love for him to get a big dog--When he had his own house and no sooner! Ok, that was a week before we started looking!!!

Now, I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, we've never had a dog so in tune to our human emotion. She just knows how we're feeling and she tries her best to be a part of it, whether I'm crying or laughing, she wants to help out. We're so lucky to have her!!!

There are certain people, including my own husband, who will say, "But isn't she so much work? Think of how peaceful your life would be without dogs" and my response to that is, "It's not what we give her as much as what she give us."

One movie line that comes to mind whenever I think of Emme and her boundless love for us is from "Up" when Doug the dog says, "I don't even know you, but I love you."