Jessica Simpson

Honestly, I don't even know why I'm attempting to write a new post right now. I have a screaming toddler, chasing the dog, with my ipad in tow. Seriously! What am I thinking??? Sitting here while complete chaos break outs beyond the small space of my office? Oh well. If I don't just "do it" then I'll never do it...because this is the norm around here....eventually some drama will ensue which will cause me to leave this (and my trail of thoughts) behind...So, until then!

Is anyone else totally sick of getting play-by-play accounts of Jessica Simpson's baby weight...and now post baby weight? It feels like the media can't get enough of it. They are enjoying all the torture (and maybe she is a little bit too...Afterall, no one is forcing "tweets" of her gigantic breast-feeding bosom to surface). I'm starting to feel bad for her. It's hard enough to have a baby, but I can't imagine doing it in Hollywood, with all the world watching!

You see, I have never been one of those "cute" pregnant people. Nope. I gain an immense amount of weight. Obscene, actually! With my first child, I gained 50 pounds. I was even 24, so age shouldn't have been a factor. At one point, I remember my doctor saying to me, "Well, you're gaining weight nicely." My response, "Really? Isn't it a little excessive by now?" And it was, but not because I wasn't taking care of myself...Just how my body reacted and I did manage to lose most of the weight, but as as any new mother will tell you, your body never goes back to how it was before pregnancy. Six years later, I gained 40 pounds with our daughter. I kept 10 of those pounds. Almost 5 years after her, I gained 60 pounds with our 3rd child. And I didn't shed a single pound...I'm not kidding. I couldn't get those pounds to fall off to save my life. This time I am blaming my age (35) and the fact that I had my first Winter baby, which meant I thoroughly enjoyed myself over the holidays...And every.single. day following!

At six months postpartum, I was still struggling to lose the baby weight. In fact, it was starting to affect everything about me. I started to isolate myself. Never in my life had I felt so uncomfortable within my own skin. Never had I felt so unhealthy--unable to climb stairs, keep up with the kids. You know you have a serious problem when your close friends don't even recognize you standing in front of them in the check out line at Cub. And it wasn't just the weight...although it did play a huge part in it...but the birth of Leyton had changed so many things about me. I really didn't know who I was anymore.

Starting last January, I knew I had to make some significant changes. It wasn't going to be easy, but I was determined to get "me" back. Not really knowing which way to turn, I started Weight Watchers. I didn't think it would be something long term for me, but I thought it would provide the motivation for me to get off the couch and start paying attention to what I was eating. It was a good catalyst, but I still wasn't happy with the results. At this time, I had a serious conversation with myself. I wanted to make changes, but I didn't want to set myself up for failure. I wanted all of my changes to be realistic ones, lifetime changes I could adhere and stick to. I knew that if I started down drastic routes of "cutting out carbs" or "spinning class two times per day"...I'd eventually grow tired of it all and I'd fail. Then I found a blog online. A woman, weighing over 400 pounds (now she's something like 150 pounds) lost all of her weight naturally by simply making a decision one day to get off the couch and walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes a day. 10 minutes!!!She made a small goal. She succeeded and now she's a normal, healthy weight. She's kept the weight off for years. She motivated me. After hearing her story, I asked myself, "What's a realistic time for you? How much can you seriously dedicate to the treadmill/ellipitcal per day?" I settled on 20 minutes a day. At this time, I decided to just make this change. I was only going to focus on one thing at a time. I felt an immediate difference...Big things were starting to happen--Not just within my body, but my mind as well. My mood was suddenly better, I was sleeping restfully each night. Then a friend recommended a free calorie-counting web site www.myfitnesspal.com that had helped her lose some weight and stay on track. I joined that day. Then bigger things started happening. Thus far, I've lost a little over 30 pounds. I still have a few more to go to get to where I was pre-Leyton, but I'm so much more comfortable. It feels so good not to hide anymore. I don't dread trips to Target  for fear of running into anyone I might know. I don't dread shopping for clothes.

What I've realized throughout this journey is that it wasn't ever about the weight. Sure, it felt like it, but it was really about losing myself. Suddenly, I wasn't taking care of me and the results were showing. I still like my Mountain Dew and Chocolate for breakfast. I'm not giving THAT up (After all, that would be craziness!) but I have made other changes. And I guess my point with all of this is that it doesn't have to be BIG things. Small changes can make a BIG difference!