The importance of being "lived in"

Recently, a divorced friend of mine became an "empty-nester"....Her and I are very similar in our personalities. She loves a neat and tidy house, she's orderly, her expectations of all relationships are clear-cut and well-known, she's very forward and not afraid to express her true feelings--almost to a fault at times. 

For as long as I've known her, she's always complained about how her house has never stayed clean for more than hour. How she cleans and cleans and cleans to no avail. It never stays that way! I think any mother can relate to her anguish. Our efforts feel futile at times. However, her and I are different in the sense that our house HAS to be clean (really! I'm not kidding! Ask my kids!!!). It causes us great anxiety to have things out of order, in disarray. We should probably be medicated! :D

Upon one of our first meetings since her last child left for college (Number 4!), I asked her how it felt to walk into her clean, just-as-i-left-it, not-a-thing-out-of-place house and her answer surprised me. In fact, I almost fell out of my chair. She said, "It's awful"..."why?" I ask. I mean here I had been a little bit jealous that a). She now has all the time in the world to clean her house and b). it stays that way--Like a dream come true in my world! 

"It's not lived-in anymore. I keep walking into the bathroom to pick up towels off the floor and then remember that no one lives here anymore. I go grocery shopping to stock the fridge and the milk goes sour because no one lives here anymore. I could feed the local Banquet with my leftovers. I don't know how to cook for one. I make these gigantic casseroles and then remember no one lives here anymore." 

I watched her eyes fill with tears and I saw so much sadness in the fine lines on her face. The jealousy I was feeling a mere moment before quickly left and was replaced by grief. 

I'm one who believes there are no accidents in life. Everything happens for a reason. Every day is filled with "teachable" moments. On this day, she taught me the importance of being "lived-in"....How short-lived "lived-in" is...and the relevance of the "lived-in" moment. 

So, while it's not easy to "teach an old dog new tricks", I am trying to overlook the mess (as much as I can!) and remember that this too shall pass and to LIVE IN the moment...