"The Last Lecture" by Randy Paush

One of my favorite quotes from his book:

“Time is all you have...and you may find one day that you have less than you think”.

For some reason, it hit me hard this weekend that Logan is going to be 10 years old in a few short months. How did this happen? Where did the last 10 years go? I can still recall his first scream (which lasted for hours!) and my primal, fierce need to protect him.

While I love both my children immensely, there is something about your first born....You learn together and experience all those 'firsts' with brand new eyes, ears, and hearts. You make all your mistakes on them, you shelter them from every germ, every stranger, every bad commercial. You lay awake at night, worried about their development, their future, their friends.

Your first-born transcends you from wife to mother. I'll never forget something Logan said to me when he was 3-years-old from the back seat of our car, "Mom, why did Grammy name you "Stacey"?" I respond with, "I guess because she liked the name." And Logan says, "Grammy named you 'Stacey' but I named you 'Mom'" And there was so much truth to this statement that even I didn't realize at the time. This is probably why we've always referred to Logan as our "old soul"....He's always been so wise beyond his years, so compassionate and thoughtful. I appreciate his kind and loving nature more and more each day.

It just felt like we had forever and I'm realizing now that all the time I thought I had is running out...He's becoming more and more independent. I can no longer bring a clean set of clothes in the bathroom while he's showering. I can't surprise him with McDonald's for lunch at school. He doesn't want to read "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" any longer because it's for babies (even though I'm 33 and thoroughly still enjoy reading a good "Pigeon" classic!). These are all changes that are meant to take place. It's the natural order of life, but what I didn't expect was to take it so hard. I didn't think I'd feel unwanted as much as I do.

I want to scream out to the universe at large, "Wait! Stop the clock! I'm not ready. I still have so much to teach him. I just need a little more time."

So, today (amidst the Monday Blues) wrap your arms around your child and realize each moment is a blessing and the greatest gift you can give your children is your TIME!