Happy New Years....

I know we're probably the minority here, but we totally LOVE staying in for New Year's. Even as young singletons, we preferred a night in to the chaos of going out. We'd order a shrimp tray, rent movies, nestle in and ring the New Year in quietly. Ok that was then, now we don't even make it to midnight.

Sixteen years and two kids later, we pop some popcorn, pour some sparkling grape juice and watch movies. This is the one night per year where we let Logan stay up to kiss one year goodbye as another rings in. He thinks we're the coolest parents on the block because we let him stay up and "party" until midnight. Little does he know how deprived he probably truly is...!!! However, the saddest part is how Brad and I are sawing logs while our 8-year-old watches the movie, eats the popcorn, and steadily watches the clock turn over. Usually, he wakes US up to let us know the new year has begun. Pathetic, I know.

To us, it's a totally over-rated night. We enjoy the holiday and day-off, but seriously, the next day doesn't look any different.

The one useful thing I like about a new year is a new beginning. It's a good time to reflect on the things I wish I would have done differently and vow to make changes for the New Year.

I truly do vow to try to understand Logan a little better and to remind myself he's only 8 and he's going to do silly, inappropriate things at times. He's not mature, he's not done being raised by us. There is still time to figure things out and come together and hope for the love of GOD that we've instilled some of our core values in him. He's the most compassionate and loving child. He's an "old soul" and so impressionable and easily influenced. He's the child that can take one look at me and tell something is wrong, even if I'm trying to hide it (and no, it has nothing to do with how transparent I am). He's so intuitive and sensitive and loving. I want to nurture these qualities in him.

I vow to remind myself I'm not perfect and I'm going to make parenting mistakes, along with a million other mistakes. I'm not always going to choose the right path or solution and that's OK. I vow to try to lighten up on myself a bit.

I vow to appreciate my husband more. I think this was also last year's resolution (refer to the above resolution--I won't be so hard on myself). He's such an amazing father and spouse and I love him from the very depths of my soul. He completes me. There is not a single person out there that would put up with such a high-maintenance person like me and he does it so well--It seems so effortless. There isn't another person on this planet that reads me like him, that can pull me back into reality like him, that can calm me down like him, that can simply extend his arms and let me fall into them like him. He's my soft place to fall, my true North, my best friend.

I vow to be a good role model for London. She's just one of those girls who just knows what she wants out of life and she's not afraid to seek it. She has so much wherewithal--So much confidence and grace. I'm proud to be her mother. You might be thinking, "Stacey, she's two--How can you possibly have gathered that much from her already?" I just KNOW...It's mother's instinct. I can see so much of her Aunt Angie and Grandma Nancy in her. She's just one who will leave a lasting impression. I also know that I'll be calling that Aunt Angie someday asking for all her secrets when she was a teenager because I'll need all the help I can get with her. It's pretty apparent she's all about having a good time. She comes with her own set of challenges, but I love to see her zest for life. I just want to bottle her enthusiasm and drink it.

Happy New Year...!!!

Brrr...

That tile about sums it up. It's freezing outside. I'm not a huge fan of winter. While I love seasons to change and I don't think I could possibly live somewhere else, I tend to hibernate during Winter. I admire parents who bundle up themselves and their kids (that alone should be considered some kind of work-out) to take them outside during the brutal winter days to wear them out. I'm NOT one of them. However, Brad does an awesome job of taking the kids outside. In fact, just this past weekend, he endured a snow ball fight with all the neighborhood boys while London jumped on a sled head-first and tumbled down our slight hill (giggling the whole way, I might add!).

I'm better during the summer months. I prefer the pool to sledding hills and swim suits to snow pants. I'd rather get some actual color than a red nose and cheeks. It's just not for me, but I really do wish I had more of a prerogative to get my kids outside. They really do benefit from it. I guess it's good I married the man I did. Watching him entertain the neighbor boys (and our own son and daughter) does warm my heart.

Then there's the puppy....
She absolutely HATES this weather. Cold is one thing--wind on top of it is another. She'd much rather use my dining room as her puppy pad for the time being. So, to make going outside more appealing, I had to find a coat small enough for her. Then, I tried to find Bailey's old boots, but to no avail. So, I stopped at a local pet store to purchase new ones. Well, her boots were going to cost more than my kids' boots, so I decided to search more at home until I found them. I'm grumbling under my breath how much I wish Nancy was still alive to see me struggling to buy boots for my dog. She would have already made some for roughly $5 (instead of $21) and sent them my way by now. I'm sure she's laughing at me regardless....

Growing on me . . .

I have now been in Vegas for almost 60 hours, and I must admit, the town has started to grow on me. I see how the town can actually be very enjoyable under the right circumstances. After my last post, you could probably guess it was easy for me to have a negative first impression just based on my trip here.

There are definitely a few things I still don't enjoy, but the presentation of everything is just so over the top you have to experience it to believe it. Everything is larger than life, beyond belief, and out of control, but that's precisely what makes it so hard to ignore. I'm here on business so any exploring and sightseeing has felt extremely rushed, but I managed to walk up and down the strip on Monday night in an attempt to find a plain sandwich (success!) and chocolate milk (no success).

During this exploration, I noticed that Vegas is not really a town to experience alone. I really wish Stac would have been able to tag along. The whole town is really a violent attack on your senses, particularly your sight and hearing. I witnessed the first official eruption of the volcano at one of the casinos – maybe the Mirage? The water show at the Bellagio was very interesting. Again, there's no real purpose to these things other than to get your attention and potentially lure you in to spend some money.

I am shocked and amazed at the amount of money flowing through this city. Apparently the people visiting Vegas this week are either trying to forget the ever gloomy economic situation or they have somehow managed to thrive while the rest of the world is suffering. The two biggest events taking place this week are the baseball winter meetings and the annual rodeo, which would explain all of the cowboy hats on the trip down. I've seen a few baseball players and their entourage of supporters, but nobody all that famous.

I've wondered how many frozen drinks Stacey would have consumed by now. I've wondered why I can buy a bottle of beer in the convenience store but not a chocolate milk. I've determined that everything costs at least twice as much as it probably should. I've determined that I'm still a kid at heart because the FAO Schwartz store was one of my favorite places to visit. I've decided that if we're able to somehow find the right deal, Stac and I are returning together for her annual birthday get-away. Typically we just go somewhere in the Cities, but I think we'd have a lot of fun spending a few days together in Vegas.

Travel Trauma

I (it is actually Brad) have determined that years of summer road trips growing up have ruined my ability to effectively and efficiently live in the air travel world. I don't have a cool phone or device to quickly compose and send text messages or browse the internet during all of the down time. I don't have the perfectly sized carry-on bag to avoid the frustration of watching 200 other bags emerge from the baggage claim mouth before mine finally makes an appearance. Truth of the matter, I was actually just happy it arrived at all and still in one piece. I don't have the timing and confidence to show up at the airport, get through security, and arrive at my gate 10 minutes before I am supposed to board. Thus I get there hours early and realize there really isn't much to do in an airport.

The plane trip to Vegas was literally like a scene from a National Lampoon's vacation movie. I got on the plane around 10:50 for a scheduled 11:20 departure. We get in line to have the plane de-iced and the pilot announces it will be about 10 minutes and then we should be in the air. They spray some formula on the wings and I'm sitting there watching it freeze directly to the windows. I'm no expert, but it makes me think they are just adding more ice to the plane. Halfway through the process, the de-icing machine breaks down. Seems relatively harmless since there are another five or six trucks de-icing other planes in our general area. I figure the broken one will drive off and they'll shift one over to our plane. Wrong. Another truck (apparently the de-icing maintenance truck) arrives and attempts a repair. One hour later, they determine the truck can't be fixed and it drives off. However, now all of the other trucks have also left to re-fill so we have to wait another 30 minutes to get de-iced. We finally depart at 1:05.

Once in the air, I became convinced there must be a hidden camera or some other television reality show filming me on this particular flight. I'd be the perfect candidate since I don't watch reality TV. I searched the internet but found no references to any reality shows promoting the fun of watching an infrequent flier endure countless situations on a single flight. There were crying babies, kids running up and down the isles, all but three people needing to use the bathroom – conveniently located one row in front of me, and the person next to me snoring so loud that everybody kept looking around to see where it was coming from. I also had the obligatory passenger in front of me needing to recline their seat all of the way back the entire trip, extremely comfortable with short, stubby legs like mine. Alas I arrive in Las Vegas and realize another annoying aspect of air travel. When you get there, you're still not really there. In a car, when you arrive, you arrive right at the doorstep of your destination. In a plane, you arrive in the general area you're supposed to be, but you have to use some additional means of transportation to actually get to your destination.

A mere 10 hours after leaving my garage, I arrive at my hotel and wonder how far I could have driven by now.

'Tis the Season....

Brad is in Vegas for most of the week on business. This means it's just the kids and I for four straight days. This hasn't happened in years...I think the last time was even BEFORE our family included London.

While there are definite perks. I can turn the thermostat to my comfort level instead of his, I'm not cooking any meals, I can have the whole bed to myself, I won't be woke up to the shower going at
4AM, etc. However, from the moment he walked out the door this morning, I missed him. We spent our entire first four years of our relationship apart--He left me in tears on the sidewalk every Sunday. So, it felt a bit like deja vu today. Only this time, there were kids demanding our attention and a dog needing to go outside and bills to be mailed.

Whether it was 16 years ago or two hours ago, I love him dearly. When I see how stressed the world is today with our global economy headed into a deep recession (if it isn't already), large masses of people losing their homes and retirement and jobs, I realize how lucky Brad and I are to have each other amidst it all.

After all, it's Christmas and like the old song goes, "No one should be alone on Christmas".....

He completes me.....

PS: You know I'll write this meaningful post and I'm sure I'll be totally pissed at him by the afternoon for something!!!

Book Club....

A couple friends and I decided to start a book club. We will delay the first meeting until after the New Year, but then plan on meeting monthly after that. The first meeting will be at my house in Dundas. If you're interested in joining us, feel free to email me.

The book selection this month (or until the first meeting in January) is "Sarah's Key" by Tatiana De Rosnay.

Look for details on an upcoming blog dedicated to our book club details!

More GI Issues for Logan....

Poor Logan just can't catch a break.....

He left for school today and all was well. I thought he looked a little peaked, but he assured me he felt fine. However, a mere hour later, the school called. Apparently, Logan had made it to the boy's bathroom, but was screaming for help. A teacher passing by located him and got him to the nurse's office.

He vomited all the way home and then went straight to bed for a couple of hours. Now he's feeling better, but still looking pale and moving pretty slowly.

The GI Specialist called back and said they want to put him completely out to scope him. This is a very invasive procedure and one I'm not ready to tackle at this point. Of course, I want what's best for him, but I also fear putting him through so much when nothing else, no other test, has revealed anything significant.

Right now, they are giving us until Friday. If he doesn't have any more episodes, we'll chalk it up to a fluke, but if he has more, then we need to proceed forward.

Please PRAY....

Anxiety....

For most of his life, as long as I can remember anyways, we have struggled to manage Logan's anxiety. He was the child that found every transition difficult. He'd cling to us for dear life whenever a new situation would arise. Even the arrival of family members would set him off. As he got older, it got a little easier. Daycare really helped him adjust to new scenarios and people, but one element that never subsided was his sleep habits. His anxiety would keep him up at night. From the time he was a toddler, we would struggle with getting him to sleep and keeping him asleep. If you ever visit, it's apparent from my vast library of children sleep books that it's always been a huge disruption in our lives.

Like every parent, we expected our sleep habits to change and the amount of sleep we actually got to decrease, but we didn't expect our 8-year-old to be sleeping on our floor each and every night. Not only is his sleeplessness disrupting his life, but it's deeply affecting ours.

We had a major setback last year. Logan had to endure huge amounts of life-staggering changes within a very short amount of time. We switched daycares on him to one located at the elementary school he would attend, London arrived a short couple of months later, we decided to put our house on the market and move, I returned to work after a long maternity leave, we decided to take our house off the market and stay, then suddenly we were moving again. Two weeks before moving, Logan lost his grandma to breast cancer. Unlike most 6-year-olds, Logan fully understood the ramifications of death...The finality of it. It was very hard on him. Then we moved, he started a new school, etc. It was an AWFUL year. His anxiety was high, he wasn't sleeping at all by this point (which means NO ONE in our house was), he was having major panic attacks that were lasting for 2 hours, sometimes longer.

The stress on our family at this time was unimaginable. After the episodes, I'd drive to Target's parking lot and sob in my car. We were unsure of who to turn to, didn't know what to do. It felt like NO ONE understood Logan, including ourselves. We craved some normalcy in our lives. Out of sheer exhaustion, we sought help from mental health professionals. We really didn't fully know or understand what we were dealing with when it came to him.

After numerous testing...Brad and I both filled out separate packets on Logan (by the way, the mother's packet is MUCH larger than the father's, so that just goes to show it truly is always the mother's fault!). We also gave one to his teacher. His therapist said all the results came back as nothing more than anxiety. He explained it in a great way to us and he not only provided some solutions for us as a family, but also gave us someone to talk to. He became as much of our therapist as he was Logan's.

Brad and I were totally against using any kind of medication. We were deathly afraid of the side effects. It bothered us that most of these drugs weren't approved for children under the age of 18. We didn't want Logan being a guinea pig. Finally, one night after recurring episodes with Logan, we broke down and gave him a drug prescribed by his doctor. Afterwards, I went to my room and sobbed. I felt like I had given up on him.

We didn't notice any real difference in Logan after a month of giving him the meds. In fact, we noticed new behaviors that we weren't fond of. I dug in and did tons of research on this drug and quite frankly, we were scared. We took him off immediately (with the help of professionals, of course).

Little by little, Logan started to make a comeback all on his own. However, as the start of a new school year loomed in the distance, he became frantic again. I really felt we had made a vast amount of improvement in Logan's behavior and I wanted to help him transition to the new year appropriately. We tried something new this time, something more on the mild side. We saw amazing changes in him within a week of starting the new medication--even the neighbors were noticing. Logan was able to handle transitions without any kind of breakdown, he was able to communicate his concerns appropriately and respectfully, the irrational fears were almost non-existent, his OCD behaviors had subsided. It was an amazing breakthrough....

And for the first time in about SIX years, Logan has slept in his bed all night long. He hasn't even poked his head in our room for about 5 nights now. This is a HUGE accomplishment on his part.

However, I think it's also important to note that medication isn't Logan's ONLY therapy. It's merely a part of an overall program to teach him how to deal with his emotions appropriately. We've altered his diet somewhat, we are very strict about what kinds (and how much) video games and movies he can watch. We've incorporated brainwave technology--A CD he listens to each night to calm his nerves. We've also issued consequences for him when his behavior gets out of hand. We firmly believe he needs to learn self-control regardless of his condition. He also continues on with his talk therapy and we see a chiropractor regularly to help keep his spine aligned. Surprisingly, we've really see some remarkable results with this and we notice immediately when he's out of alignment now by his behavior and sleep patterns.

My point in posting this is to help others. I know there are parents out there feeling the same way we did about putting your child on medication. It's really about finding the RIGHT drug for your and/or your child. I still have my concerns--don't get me wrong. But I also believe that by doing so, we have helped Logan immensely. He's able to move forward in his life without fear. I never realized how badly he needed our help until now...Until we saw huge leaps forward. It's like someone gave us our son back....And for that, I'll be forever grateful!

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

As most of you know, "home" to me is Sioux Falls SD. As we were traveling up 35W today towards Mpls, we past a truck with an insignia that said they, too, were from Sioux Falls SD. Immediately, I felt a connection to this trucker, a complete stranger, merely because we were from the same town.

This made me ponder: What is "home"????

Of course, it's different things to different people. When I tried, during this car ride, to piece together the framework, the various networks, that make me warm up at the thought of home, I came to one conclusion. Mom is home....

No one else embarks on a bitter cold, snowy driveway with arms extended to welcome you home like Mom. No one else in the world is as excited to see you've arrived safely like your Mom.

No matter how quirky or forgetful or downright goofy she can be, she's my soft place to fall. We quickly became friends once I moved on to college and marriage soon thereafter, but up until then, we always struggled. Our relationship was a difficult one. Like so many adult children, I realize now how good her intentions were and the reasons behind the lessons she tried to teach. Now, the single thread that really binds us, the common ground we share, is motherhood.

I remember bringing Logan home for the first time. The love I felt for him was unlike anything I've felt before--truly overwhelming. For the first time, I understood why mother bears attacked anything that came close to her cubs regardless of how harmless the threat may be. I asked my mom once, "Why didn't you tell me it was this good?" Of course, she said "words couldn't express it. You must experience it." She's right, of course. And I realized then and there that I wasn't the only one fighting for my young. My mom was fighting just as vehemently. To this day, she's their biggest cheerleader.

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. She turns 51. I just wanted to tell her how much she's meant to me. She's a beautiful person--inside and out. And if you know her, this isn't news to you, but I wanted her to know how much I'm thinking of her and wishing we were together on her special day.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Treadmill Training for the DOG???

One of the joys of dog ownership for me is actually walking the dog. For the brief amount of time that we were "dog-less", I truly missed the bonding experience of walking a dog. Maybe it's the time spent completely alone between master and dog. Maybe it's the utter joy they express as you grab the walking leash from the hook--A self-fulfilling prophecy, for sure. Maybe it's the fact that you know it's just as good for you as it is for them. Maybe it's just to get the dog to sit down for 20 minutes.....

I try with all my might to walk Phoebe a couple miles per day. It as good of therapy for me as it is for her. So, you can imagine how painful it's been to watch the transition from Fall to Winter this week. The freezing rain, gusty winds, and bitter temps have really limited our walking. I know the weather we're experiencing now is going to be mild compared to what's to come. Hence, our walking is going to become less and less.....

Because I prefer "worn out" Phoebe to the "Boy, this dog really needs some exercise" version, I've been researching and trying out different methods of treadmill training for her. The first time I tried it, Brad accompanied me downstairs because he was certain it was going to turn into something he wouldn't want to miss. Turns out, he was absolutely right. It was a disaster. Phoebe was terrified of the noise and dug her heels in deep before falling off the back of it. Again and again, I tried but to no avail.

However, my brother, Colby, is staying with us this week and I thought it was a perfect time to incorporate his help in the matter. While London napped this afternoon, I tried again. This time I used a clicker and treats to reward her. I fed her so many treats there's no way she won't be coming back tomorrow for more. She did awesome. As you can tell from the pictures, I can hardly contain my smug grin.

I'm proud of this small feat....It'll definitely help me this winter to keep her in shape and worn out!

PS: I'll fill you in on Logan's ultrasound results as soon as I know!

Life is Good!

Everything is moving along as it should.....

Logan ACED his spelling test yesterday, London is talking more and more (she must have heard us voicing our concerns amongst ourselves), the new puppy is even starting to get this whole "potty training" concept.

It's been a good week....Logan's stomach is tolerating the medication well and he really seems to be making a comeback. His jeans are still falling off him, but I doubt for long!

While everything else seemed to fall into place, I was really struggling this week for various reasons. Ugh! I think I need some sunshine!!!

I want to thank my good friends who got me through a challenging week: Margie, Trishana, Janet, and Angie. You mean the world to me!!! I'd still be searching for that bridge without you!

The Results are IN!!!!

The gastro specialist called back today. Logan's blood work indicates a bacterial infection. She had a fancy name for it, but I've already forgotten it. Apparently, untreated it can cause major stomach issues.

I've only had an opportunity to talk to her nurse, but the doctor is supposed to call back later today, so I might know more details then.

As of right now, our plan of attack is two weeks' worth of antibiotics and we'll increase the dose of Prilosec.

Ahhhh......A sigh of RELIEF!!! Of course, I only wish we would've know this BEFORE two hospital stays and $6000 worth of procedures, tests, ER visits, and specialist appts. Oh well, it's pretty hard to put a price on Logan's health!

It looks like we'll proceed with the gall bladder ultrasound on Oct 28 because the doctor said they aren't 100% sure the bacteria present is causing the problems. All the blood work indicates is an exposure to H Pylori, but they aren't sure if it's necessarily still active or not.

We'll keep you posted!

Perking Up!

Logan is starting to look better. His appetite has returned in full force, he's gaining some color back in his cheeks, and he's running around the neighborhood with friends again! Yippee!!!!

London has been staying at my mom's house since last Tuesday, so we plan on picking her up tomorrow. We've really missed the comic relief in our house! Brad, especially, looks forward to her return. They've shared a deep connection since birth. She truly defines "Daddy's Girl".....

Have a good week!!!

Small Bowel X-Ray....

We had the upper GI contrast x-ray today. Logan did really well especially given the fact that he had to drink some disgusting white chalky Barium liquid. I seriously thought he was going to vomit just trying to get it down....He didn't look good at all by this point in the procedure. However, he's pretty much thrown up on ALL x-ray tables by now, so why hold back???

Surprisingly, we already have results....

He PASSED with flying colors!!! According to both the radiologist and our GI specialist, nothing was indicated on the x-ray to warrant an ounce of concern.

While a part of me expected these results--Afterall, we've had 4 squeak- clean x-rays already and a couple of CT scans. I wasn't expecting dire news. I figured almost all bases had been covered with the initial tests, but just one more thing we had to rule out.

I'm glad he's fine, but I'm also frustrated that we don't have any more answers at this point. I just don't want him to fall under the "unsolvable" umbrella.

As far as Logan goes, his appetite returned today. Hopefully it stays around awhile. He's looking and acting more normal. His energy level doesn't seem to be as depleted as before. Little by little, I think he's making a comeback.

Now we're waiting for the blood work results to come back and we'll do the lactose test on Saturday. The gall bladder ultrasound is on Oct 28.

GI Specialist....

We met with the GI Specialist today and, unfortunately, we don't know much more than before. The problem is that his symptoms cover a huge range of different diagnoses. So, they are treating everything like it's a possibility. The doctor we met with today said some of the possibilities are Celiac Disease, Lactose intolerance (which she doesn't think it would react so strongly, but, again, anything is possible), gall bladder issues, or just a REALLY bad viral infection that won't budge.

Logan will be put through another round of tests and procedures. He had more blood work today, a contrast-type x-ray tomorrow, a 3-hour lactose test sometime this week and an ultrasound on his gall bladder on Oct 28. They have prescribed Prilosec for his reflux and heartburn issues. They are hoping this tones down the stomach acid. She even sounded optimistic about the possibility of this drug alone curing his symptoms--We're not holding our breath, but stranger things have happened.

To me, she sounded like Celiac Disease was a great possibility. Brad thought they were just trying to rule out something that wasn't tested yet. This is why we BOTH attend conferences, therapy appointments, and doctor visits because we both walk away with an entirely different take on things!

She felt around his stomach (which is constantly extremely bloated these days) and he had the most pain in the general area of his gall bladder. Hence, the ultrasound. She said gall bladder issues tend to be like a roller coaster with it's ups and downs. Another possibility...Ugh!

If none of these tests reveal anything, they will do more invasive procedures with scopes. Luckily, he'll put out during it's entirety.

Logan has lost a lot of weight--he's down 4-5 pounds now, which is a huge percentage on his already too lanky frame. He's very pale and weak, low energy, decreased appetite. Whatever it is, it has definitely taken it's toll.

I wish I was writing with more positive or conclusive news, but we'll just have to endure more to get to the bottom of it.

I'm completely exhausted. The past 2-3 weeks hit me like a brick wall today. I'm looking forward to an early bedtime!

Thanks for hanging in there with us. Thanks for all your concern and support. It means the world to us!!!

Sick, Sick, Sick!

Yep, we've entered the world of "blogging"....So, please bear with us as this site is definitely a work in progress.

While coming across a fellow blogger's site, I noticed the title of their newest posting was "sick, sick, 'sick' and I realized this pretty much sums up the last two weeks in the Garry Household.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, Logan came down with what we thought was a just a flu bug. After a week of various "flu-like" episodes (I'll spare you the details--you can use your imagination), he doubled over on Friday evening, screaming in pain. Call it "mother's instinct" or maybe just good ol' common sense, but I rushed him to the nearest Urgent Care Clinic. After x-rays and bloodwork, they admitted Logan to the hospital with dehydration and a whole slew of scary symptoms. After two days of fluid, morphine, and chicken noodle soup, it appeared as if we were on the road to recovery. We were discharged from the hospital two days later.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I had a definite skip in my step as Logan and I exited the hospital on Sunday. I really thought this was a small blip on the radar screen and we were on our way to freedom, never to look back, never to return to that dreary hospital room again. Boy, was I WRONG!!!

A mere three days later, on Wednesday of this week, we were back to the "oh so familiar" urgent care again, only this time they admitted him to Children's Hospital. Just the mere mention of "children's hospital" made my eyes well with tears. How could our vibrant and healthy 8-year-old end up here??? And the question of what was causing these flares up to return was something I couldn't even face. As a mother, you hear of days and episodes like these...That the scary things that warrant the most worry strike on some idle Tuesday. I was terrified of what lied ahead for Logan and our unit as a family. I've just never seen Logan so immobilized by pain, so peaked, so thin and white.

The doctor's at Children's wasted no time and started extensive testing on everything....Logan was forced to put his modesty aside while they examined every bodily fluid coming from him. All these tests and scans and blood work did not reveal anything dire or dangerous. Everything, thus far, has checked out wonderfully. Please--a moment of silence while I let out a big sigh of relief.....Of course, I'm thrilled his appendix isn't going to burst, his bowel isn't twisted, his liver is operating on a business as usual basis. However, we still need answers and we don't have any at this time.

Logan was discharged on Thursday, but then had another immobilizing bout of vomiting and pain that night. Knowing, more than likely, it isn't anything too serious, we made him tough it out a bit. The thought of another hospital stay made Brad and I want to vomit. To make a long story short, Logan hasn't fully recovered yet and we're meeting with a GI specialist next week. We're hoping to send him back to school on Monday. He's already missed 8 days of school and it's only October.

Anyways, this past two weeks has made me ponder other parents in similar or worse situations than us. We felt like our life was on hold, we hadn't even seen our other child, let alone our new puppy. She was wondering if she had already been abandoned. It was stressful. We endured limited sleep, food was sparse, even checking to see if the sun appeared that day was difficult. This really made me want to reach out to other parents enduring even worse arrangements. I can't imagine what you're going through on a daily basis...The stress, lack of sleep, the overall balance of work, home, and life. Not that it matters, but I understand now. Maybe not fully, but I have a taste and my heart goes out to you.

We'll keep you posted as we hear more from the specialist....